Screw the patriarchy, we should all be writers: 8 pleasure-filled ways to start your writing practice.
‘Nothing happens in the real world unless it first happens in the images in our heads’ — Gloria Anzaldua
2022 has been, well, rough to say the least. The patriarchy is swelling with pride at their recent legislative wins, particularly where SCOTUS is involved. I, for one, am dizzy from the global circle jerk these politicians, evangelicals, business folks, and billionaires are still perpetuating in the effort to control, invoke violence, and silence womxn, LGBTQIA, people of color, and low-income individuals and communities.
While they may be stripping back rights, we can refuse their silencing. You may have been taught in school that writing is reserved for essays on books written by the dead white guys; it is actually far more personal and revolutionary than we were told…
Writing our thoughts, emotions, and stories in the face of oppression is its own act of rebellion.
It should be no surprise that recent years have seen a dramatic increase in mental health issues such as depression and anxiety. While we cannot control the things in this world that cause our cortisol levels to spike, writing is proven to help improve our mental health and build resilience.
When we write we are better able to make sense of this chaotic world by organizing our thoughts, solving problems, and forming new neural pathways.
I know for myself, writing was a huge catalyst in healing from the trauma of my narcissistic ex-husband and finding my inner power. Abusive people, like abusive systems, do not want you to own your stories. As a former Language Arts teacher, I saw firsthand how personal writing can unlock a person and facilitate their long-awaited bloom.
Because when we write our stories we refuse the title of victim and elevate ourselves as the protagonist– as the hero. One that has freedom, choices, and agency to imagine new possibilities.
You have likely been taught that your stories don’t matter, and worse than that, you’ve been taught that writers look and write a certain way. But that’s just the bastards being bastardly. The new world needs you to spend time with yourself in silence with pen and paper, to heal and liberate your mind from the chaos of their world.
I mean to put it simply, they want you to be quiet. So fuck ’em and write your stories. The following 8 tips are here in the hopes that you decolonize your mind, and liberate your spirit through developing your own writing practice.
1. Get a Journal
Okay so your therapist has been telling you to do this for some time now, but what do they mean? Take yourself on a date to buy the dopest, coolest, most 11-year-old you-approved journal. The ritual of picking out a journal is one that should not be glossed over, much like a witch or wizard picking out their wand, it should be celebrated. By all means, let it choose you…
The key here is to remember, this is just for you and not to demonstrate how seriously you take yourself while being the edgiest you in a boutique coffee shop. A worn leather, scotch smelling journal may help you channel your inner Hemingway, but if garden cats tickle your pickle, go with that. Don’t forget to get the pens that make your handwriting look lush– there is no greater buzzkill when it comes to journaling than a shitty pen.
**If you’re looking for some variety and a philanthropic brand, check out Denik. They collaborate with artists to produce some ridiculously cool vegan notebooks. They’re also dedicated to building schools in underserved communities around the world.
2. Define your motivation
For your first prompt in your gorgeous new journal, I encourage you to write and reflect about why you are writing. Why do you carve out the time to put your thoughts to pen and paper today? The answers might range from wanting to improve your mental health, practicing gratitude to wanting a place to channel some rage. I write to do all of those things and more. Write down as many benefits as you can for the value this will add to your life. I encourage you to tape this list up somewhere you can see it every day, maybe even decorate it with stickers and colorful doodles to celebrate and cheer on your efforts.
3. Overcome your ridiculous inner-critic
Once you have chosen your pen and journal, the next step is to dedicate time to writing. At this stage, I usually hear things like “I have nothing to say,” or “omg, everything I write is bad,” and quit before they have even started. And that is what the patriarchy wants from you, to feel like you have nothing to say. For that, I have a few agreements.
Stalling is inevitable
Just like those brave souls that choose to drive manual cars, you may get stuck at certain points, but don’t worry you’re not in the middle of traffic at rush hour, you’re actually in the abandoned parking lot you use to chug four lokos in with your friends. You can rest assured that no one is watching. If you’re struggling to come up with something to write, don’t panic. Just breathe, remember you’re not automatic, you’re a sexy stick shift that may need a little time to warm up. Take your time and let a thought arise.
Be one with the shit
Accept that your unedited writing may not make a lot of sense. In fact, it may be shitty. Be cool with rolling around in wet, smelly, putrid mud. Your writing does not have to be “good,” in fact that’s subjective anyway. The only instructions are to write whatever is in your head, no matter how weird or embarrassing. Getting it down is the most important.
“I told the universe I would be a writer, I didn’t say I would be a good writer.”
-Elizabeth Gilbert’s aha while struggling to write Eat Pray Love.
4. Set a Timer + Realistic Expectations
Writing into the abyss of time can feel daunting and new writers may be wondering how long they’re supposed to write for. Often people don’t start a writing practice because they think they don’t have the time. Set a timer for 5 minutes to start and make a reasonable commitment to yourself for the first week. Maybe your goal is to write 3 times, that’s only 15 minutes over the course of 7 days and a way better use of time than scrolling your newsfeed. You may find the timer will go off and you’ll want to keep writing. Oftentimes we just need a little help getting started to get that sauce flowin.
The easiest way to create behavior change is to add it to a routine you are already doing. Maybe you read the news with your breakfast or curl up with a book at the end of the day, adding a 5-minute journal to those routines will yield the most consistent results. Set a goal for yourself to keep up this effort over the course of 21 days, they say it’s what it takes to build a habit.
5. Go Outside
When you are in need of a little encouragement, and some oxygen, take your journal outside and write about the world around you. You have permission to engage all available senses here to describe what you’re experiencing. There may even be lessons to life’s problems and stressors in the outdoors, like how trees shed their leaves to make room for new ones. When we look for them, there are metaphors to be found everywhere.
6. Have a (written) conversation
When you hear something that deserves an “mmmm” and some finger snaps, write it down. Explore what moved you and write your own response to those words. Being in conversation with what we read is a lovely way to engage with new ideas and expand our thinking. Oftentimes we read a book or article that says the thing that unlocks us, then we forget about it and go about our day. I like to write down quotes that inspire or equally enrage me and respond to them in my journal. It has been a game changer in not only remembering the idea but clarifying my thoughts and leading me towards ideas I never would have otherwise.
7. Get a “Gym Buddy”
Just like a new gym membership, you always do better when you sign up with a friend. Making a commitment to write alongside someone else can help hold you accountable while also spreading the benefits of writing. You don’t have to share with each other, but if you feel comfortable, exchanging your writing with someone else can have a massive impact on your psyche. From a neuroscience perspective, when we share our stories with one another, oxytocin is released and we feel more bonded to one another. It doesn’t have to be formal, just a text every now and again of something you’re working on.
8. Sign up for stimulation
A good writing prompt can unlock your creative juices and help give you some direction. I know I love a juicy prompt or question to sink my teeth into. You can find a free personal writing guide and prompts at momofitz.com created to help individuals access their own intimate revolution.
Remember, above all else, writing is a way to take time back to yourself during these times of chaos and uncertainty.
There is an abundance of noise and opinions floating around at the moment and taking the time to get quiet and listen to your own can powerfully transform your life and this world. Writing your stories is not frivolous or selfish, in fact, it is a wonderful act of rebellion. Adrienne Maree Brown said it best in Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good,
“Pleasure activism is the work we do to reclaim our whole, happy, and satisfiable selves from the impacts, delusions, and limitations of oppression and/or supremacy.”
So let’s get writing.
Check out more of Maureen’s work, sign up for creative writing prompts visit at momofitz.com and on Instagram.
